16ga.com ~ View topic - Too dumb to stay out of it juvenile-big-boy drama

Joined: 18 Oct 2015 Posts: 30 Location: Minnesota

Is there any sibling rivalry between the two. How do they get along usually?

The lawyer sounds like my brother...would do any and everything to piss on me. I always thought that family came first, but he always had the attitude that family was the easiest to take advantage of. After forty years, I gave up and no longer consider him family...haven't talked to him in twenty years. Sad!

RH

I was taught the following by my mother when I was just a tad:
Love many. trust few. Learn to paddle your own canoe.

I stand by my friends if I understand they are in the right. Until then, I keep my peace and listen until I know we both stand on firm ground.

However, I never become involved in any family wars. Family wars have an internal history outsiders can never understand, so I always choose silence. If asked for advice, I simply shake my head and say,"I don't know". Getting involved beyond being a silent and compassionate ear is a sure recipe for disaster and a sure way to lose a friend. Just my opinion based on my observations of how the world works.

Thanks for all of your input and concern. My friend said his brother has called him a couple of times recently,and that's a good thing. The entire dynamic is a long and winding road. Humans have an incredible capacity to love, forgive, forget,hope,endure, and persevere. We can only hope family trumps all else, and wisdom shines most brightly. We're here so briefly........

My 87 year-old mom reminds me often: "you can choose your friends, but not your relatives."

Joined: 12 Sep 2010 Posts: 1973 Location: Maine

The lawyer broke Rule 1 of being a good hunter (or good guest) - going back to a place someone showed him without prior consent of that other someone. Then he exacerbated it by expanding on his transgression.
That you outed him, probably painful but in the long run better for the both of them.
Now, stay out of it and keep your mouth shut.

Member Joined: 25 Jun 2008 Posts: 1863 Location: Wisconsin

I wade in when I see it's necessary or when I see a kinder person getting taken advantage of. I don't sweat the small stuff and know I risk upsetting others in the process, but I also value my friends and relatives and expect them to set me straight when I step over the line. I know some good Southern lawyers and I know of some bottom feeders too, but I also know how valuable access to private land can be and don't have a lot of patience with those that add drama to my relationships.

Could be the red mouthed lawyer could stand a bit of the business end of a buggy whip, but even close friends often don't know the whole story. It's a shame to see siblings get bent with one another. Life is way to short for that, hence my impatience and willingness to do what Doc did to a T. Call it a personality disorder, but Id have to wade in amongst them until everybody smiled. Reno

Joined: 16 Jul 2015 Posts: 2126 Location: Hudson,Wy

Well you can't put the genie back in the bottle so I would assume a neutral position at this point even if you don't feel that way. Give your friend a sympathetic shoulder to cry on and listen to his problems but realize that any input you give at this point could inadvertently prolong resentments. Sometimes the best thing to do is just give someone an opportunity to vent their frustrations so they can move on to repairing the damage.

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My mama, as dear a soul as ever graced this earth, used to say" if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".. And with that I say let's officially close this sorry thread, and move on to more pleasant subjects, like beautiful saintly southern women,gobbler tales, or new puppies!

Well, I can think up a couple of scenario's that would make what his Lawyer brother did Ok.
Just to mention it THE PROPERTY BELONGS TO THE GUY ALLOWING PERMISSION. NOT the brother or his friend. The owner can do what he wants to do with it. It is not up to the brother or his buddy who the owner allows or does not allow to use it.
Perhaps they did hit it off? Or they know people in common? Or he gave him some expensive scotch or cigars? Or helped him with a law issue? WE DON"T KNOW WHY. It does not matter. It is his to do with it what he wants.
What if they are gay? Think the brother would even WANT to know about that?
Staying out of it and not assigning non sensical 'rules' about someone else's property is the best choice...

Forgot the bottom line. If you want to keep a hunting place to yourself don't tell anyone about it and don't take anyone there. Keep it exclusive. Period.

Member Joined: 25 Jun 2008 Posts: 1863 Location: Wisconsin

I've thought more about this topic since I weighed in, and realized that I failed to mention that the reason I would have taken Doc's tack was that I expect my friends to speak up when I cross a line and do the same for them. Yes men don't make good friends because they tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear. Friends are the family you choose, and you owe it to them to speak up.

Reno

Joined: 12 Mar 2012 Posts: 686 Location: Ontario

Cowdoc, been meaning to mention this since you posted it. What a lovely picture of your mother! At least I'm assuming that's her and perhaps you when you were a bit younger. I love your focus on the camera and your mother's focus on you. As it should be.

Reno, I could not agree more. But then I believe that we should all talk about religion and politics in polite society. My own theory is that by not doing so not only do we encourage a lack of engagement and understanding of the issues BUT we never develop the ability to talk about those issues while remaining polite and civil.

Maybe I'm like those good communists of 100 years ago, with a wilful disbelief in human nature. LOL

In my humble opinion, this is something that should never be discussed on a public forum.

Cowdoc, you are a good man, remember that, nobody here should comment on this problem of yours, and you should have not revealed it.

Dale

Joined: 21 May 2010 Posts: 603 Location: Victoria BC Canada

cowdoc; My Mom uses the very same saying, among about a thousand other bits of folk wisdom. Tough as well as wise as we just celebrated her 100th birthday.